I’ve had many instances where I wanted to publish something but the fear of judgment and how my writing will be perceived gave me serious anxiety. I then realized the powers of being anonymous — on that same note, I can be vulnerable and share my experiences with a bunch of you guys and hopefully inspire others to share their own experiences.

Let’s start off with this pandemic. We’ve been in this pandemic for at least two years and it’s been an incredible yet challenging journey. I had to throw the word incredible in there because this pandemic has helped me a lot in terms of opportunities in relation to my career and life goals. This whole online learning thing is amazing and I wish schools would have came up with this method earlier. Online learning helps me so much because my schedule is busy so I can literally study in the middle of the night or even on the slow nights at work. From time to time, I have been utilizing my time by taking a few classes around Sociology and Psychology — these majors are intriguing but that’s not what I’m going to major in. I’m going to major in Criminology and I spoke to a few University professors and graduates from top universities about how the program is. Everyone tells me that criminology is worth a shot. I was so nervous about applying to school again because I learn very slowly but I’ve always been told to just go for it — and I did exactly that!

The thing about life is that you have to go for what you want before you realize you cannot in let’s say your 60s or whatever. You have to chase your dreams right when that mindset is there and just try — trying never hurts right? That’s what my mother told me and then we slowly drifted a part. That’s another blog entry and I’ll slowly get into that as more posts come about.

The pandemic has also brought a lot of work from home opportunities. I’ve taken advantage of a few of these gigs from general customer service, telephone sales and marketing. I personally like working from home because you set your own hours. As long as the work gets done, you’re good and then you get paid and it’s amazing! At least for the work I completed from home, I was able to choose my own hours. Basically I worked from 10:00am to 4:00pm on weekdays and I would do head off to my other job. I normally pick up on temporary gigs like this for extra income. I’ve had to survive on my own with no support for 7 years. On some days I question myself but I’m also proud of my accomplishments and the ability to maintain structure and a routine.

I’ve done almost every kind of job just to survive. Even today, I do general labor gigs and I’m telling you they’re well worth it and if you’re into heavy lifting, you can do this type of work. The only area I would never find myself working in is inside a mall. I’m not like most girls . I go to work without caring how I look like usually in a baggy sweater and leggings. I’ve worked with a few girls who possessed the need to powder their full face in make up and do their nails from the night before. Yeah, I barely have time for this and I could care less. I do occasionally dress up but on rare occassions such as my birthday or when I get together with a long time friend. I do admire the time and effort it takes these girls to dress up for work but, personally, I do not and will never see the point to this. That’s just my opinion. Especially if you work in a vulnerable career path, what you look like DOES NOT matter.

My career path is mental health. I work in mental health and addictions. The type of work I do is draining as ever and I would NOT change this career path even if someone told me too. And to tell you, I once had a colleague tell me to change careers. I refused to listen to them. I’ve had people in the past specifically tell me that business jobs are the go-to type of jobs that we want to live a happy life. That’s not necessarily true. My type of work is hands on and I prefer that. I’m not the type of person to sit there behind a computer screen or to read a textbook. I prefer learning through hands on; I’m a visual learner.

I attend to nightly crises and provide harm reduction, mental health and addictions supports and resources. Many people could never do the type of work I do but I love it and, again, I wouldn’t change careers paths. On top of my own mental health and personal addiction struggles, I’m still able to maintain a sense of self. I’m still able to get through the work week and do what I need to do.

If you read my introduction or Twitter biography, I’ve taken the opportunity to place my diagnoses in there and a huge life experience that changed me a lot —

I was once a suicide survivor. It’s heartbreaking to hear and I’ll talk about that in a future blog post. Let’s just say I’m still here and on my days where I don’t think I have any support, I actually do have that support. I have people. I never knew I had anyone before. I’ve came a long way of realizing my worth and potential and I refuse to back down.

I love you all and thanks for reading!!